I try to speak, but you don't hear me
When you're gone you still feel near me
For a while, for a little while
And the words are at the tip of my tongue but in my head I hear if's and but's and when I finally make up my mind you're long gone, far away where my words can't reach and I'm left empty, empty in my heart and empty in my head, where the words for you once were but are now left cold in the air, cold like my hands and I'm shivering, shivering from the fear of losing you.
Tonight I'm still alone.
When we last talked we were lying on our backs
Looking at the sky through the ceiling
I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
Trying to read the greek upon the stars
The alphabet of feeling
Now I know that there was nothing to read in the skies because it was all in your eyes that said, it will never be no matter how much I want it because you don't change the alphabet to create your own rules and create your own world, and in my world there's no room for you, it was never really a choice between the language or the kiss because a kiss lasts for a moment and language eternity and it's clear where my immortal heart lies.
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart
I don't even recognize your face anymore and when I find you in the crowd I'm always wrong, it's your shadow it's my memory but sometimes I even forget that you're here because you never really were and I wonder if it was two full years of imagination because when I walk past you now nothing happens, nothing, it's as if time had gone backwards and we might as well be strangers in the street living separate lives with only one crossing point in our paths that never ran parallel and never will.
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
And now I just keep my silent whispers and I ask myself how I let the wall build itself between us where there used to be an unspoken understanding with just a touch or a smile we read each other's mind and space in between would break my heart but it's now frozen in ice that we let grow because we are too content or too busy or too different I don't know, I only know we've passed the point of no return but even though you may not know I miss you, I do, and I will remember you.
I did my best
it wasn't much
I couldn't feel
so I tried to touch
But I reach and grasp only air in the space where you stood now filled with air that you no longer breathe, and I stand in the same place haven't moved an inch since the day I promised I'd try yet I'm nowhere near nowhere close to where I said I'd be and I don't know where you are. I've lost my way since then and I'm not the only one. I need a sign and she needs a sign, somehow, somewhere, just a whisper or a flash of light or some kind of answer to the prayers and Hallelujah's that we sang 7 years ago because our world have stopped and we need, we need your smile again.
I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
yet I always try to hide
And I'm just a little more than confused as I'm caught still in time holding still my breath waiting for things to fall into place waiting for a familiar voice waiting for you as people rush by not slowing their steps rushing to where they need to go in 5 minutes in 5 days in 5 years but I sit patiently waiting for the sky to clear waiting for an epiphany waiting for you.