There are things that you never really forget. You might think that you have forgotten, you might pretend that you have, or you hope that you have. But with certain things, it will always be there.
It never really bothers you most of the time. In fact, you never really think about it. But one day something suddenly reminds you of it. One memory triggers another, images flash before your eyes, more vivid than ever, and you're surprised by how well you really remember everything.
The way he looked at me, or didn't really look; the picture of him and I with my very first trophy, the gentle smile that I probably didn't notice because I was absorbed in the joy of my own victory, a smile that might have meant how proud he was, or maybe not; the little pats on the back, the tone of disappointment behind rare outbursts of anger, and the anger that translated into brutal sets of workout.. the way she tried to hold her composure, the way she hid her crumbled heart behind her forced smile; how a handshake turned into a hug because neither of us could bear to see the sadness on each other's face, the sadness that reflected a reality that we were refusing to accept..
The film rolls by, picking up speed until everything becomes a blur and all the emotions that you didn't know existed escape as tears.
Some things are never lost, never really forgotten. They could be buried deep inside, they could be hidden behind screens of defenses. Some say time heals, that time dilutes memories.. but certain things come back when you least expect it, and you realise that they have always been there, just as it was the day it happened.