I saw you on the dance floor, with a drink in your hand, but your mind could have been somewhere else. The crowd flowed to the beat that flooded my ears, but you moved differently, to a rhythm only known to you. You turned to her and forced a smile when she urged you to move your feet with hers. She did not know how out of sync it was for you, with him doing that silly boy dance beside her. You watched them dance together, shouting into each other's ears and giggling, and you wondered if it could have been you in his place. You'd hold her hands, put a flower in her hair and sing to her the tune you've been playing in your head. But you knew that there's the world where things are, and there's the world of your own, in your head, where you danced on through the night.
I saw you on the field, mechanically going through the motions of catching and throwing. But your eyes were set on something beyond the field, as if you were trying to find a greater meaning in the repetitious movement of your arms and legs. You woke up in the morning, ate, and then you were there. You'd be home again soon enough, and have yet another meal of pasta. Maybe tonight will be the night she'd call. Or maybe it will be the night when you finally gave up. You think you hope that it would be the latter, but deep inside you know you don't really know anymore.
I saw you on the bus, sitting in the corner with your jacket zipped up to your neck. You had your arms crossed in front of your chest and you looked down into the back of the seat in front of you, as if there was something important etched into it that you were trying to memorize. There were traces of tattoo patterns that lined the collar and cuffs of your jet-black jacket. You barely noticed it, because it had been with you for so long now, but you knew what they'd think. You wouldn't blame them though, because you don't remember why you did it yourself. In the back of your mind you have a vague recollection of that day, long ago, when he made that promise that now rings empty in an emptier heart. But who would have known? He thought he knew too, he never thought he'd change. Maybe that is all that matters now.. that he meant it at that moment.
And I saw you at the beach, perched on a rock, staring out to the sea with a grin stretched across your face. Your heart leapt every time a wave crashed onto the sand and the wind whistled past your ears. It was in your eyes. You were stunned by thousands of sensations pouring into your head and the world reeled by in fast-forward mode. One idea was barely formed before another sparked into existence. For a moment you wished that you can grasp on to one thing and have the moment last for eternity, but it goes on and you don't want to miss what's next. Life for you is the dilemma between the comfort of coherence and the excitement of spontaneity. That was life, life was then. Life is this, life is now.