Before you proceed,
MUST READ: Why I Am Still A Feminist from Popagandhi
Or I'll disown you.
Anyway, it got me thinking about a few things (though if you really don't want to read it, it's not required to understand what I have to say.
I am what some might call butch. Butch to the point where I get addressed as "sir," and get stared at in the women's washroom. Some who know me would exclaim, "Stine, anyone who has half a brain should be able to see that you're a girl. Like, DUH!" but reality is, I do get mistaken as a guy. It's not anything recent; I grew up with it, until I grew my hair out for a few years (even then, there was an instance when I got directed to the men's room), and now again since I have kept my hair short after the head shave a year ago.
"Butch" is the new "gay" (gay is the new black now -- it's almost cooler to be gay than straight). Or was, I don't know, because the meaning of the word and what it entails have changed throughout the years. All I know is, from my own observation, in some circles it elicits the gasp response, in some it just sounds as normal as "rain" or "tax", in others it's met with anger and resistance.
I don't claim to be an expert in gender politics or the politics of language, and I don't claim to know it all. I could be all wrong, and let me know if that's the case. Also leave a comment if you disagree. This is just me, my experience, my understanding, and my confession. I'm open to other ideas and opinions. (And I know that butch doesn't only apply to lesbians, but from hereon when I say butch, it's in the context of butch-femme lesbian dichotomy unless specified otherwise. Also, when I say "men", I don't mean ALL men.)
To me, butch isn't about passing as men, or wanting to be men, or wanting to replace men. To some men, there are two kinds of lesbians: the femmes, who are experimenting females who are ultimately waiting for the "right guy" to come along and show them the way; and the butch, who are girls who want to be guys, who never grew out of their penis envy phase, who go out and trick other girls into falling in love with a faux male. A person of one sex wanting to physically become the other is something different. Butch has to do with gender, not sex.
The Butch is threatening to some men. I once stumbled upon a discussion board where men vented in rage about "that TB (tomboy) who stole my girlfriend", and questioned with contempt why girls would want to be with a girl who looks like a boy when there are guys all over the place with "the real thing." Before that, I wanted to believe it was just a myth, that men are angry with butch lesbians "taking their girlfriends," that men react with violence and rage towards the short-haired dykes in men leather jackets. I don't know if they fear being replaced, being rendered unnecessary or if it's something else that can justify the level of anger. I'm not a man, I don't know. My ex-girlfriend left me for a man, but I don't hate men. (In fact, I almost hated myself for not being able to be what she's supposed to/wants to be with.) Interestingly enough, the butch lesbian isn't welcomed by men nearly the same way femme gay guys are embraced by women (gross generalization, I know, don't yell), as if there's a gender hierarchy where masculine ranks above, and it's only the guys' loss to fall underneath, but unacceptable for girls to climb up.
The Butch is also criticized and shunned by some feminists and lesbians. The Butch did not appeal to men, and the Butch gave the feminist movement the bad name (or was it really only an excuse?). And we want men on our side in this fight for gender equality, we don't want to drive them away. Being a feminist is about embracing femininity and empowering oneself with it. It's not about dressing like men, or god forbid, embracing masculinity. This is where the double-standards come in. It's ok to put feminitity on a pedestal, but if you say something good about masculinity, it's almost a blasphemy. Of course, it's because masculinity has oppressed femininity! All of a sudden masculinity became something bad. Where did the equality go? Since when did feminism become defeating masculinity? And so for some, being butch is betraying the feminine, it's abondoning "the weaker" and crossing bridge to the other side. It's being a wuss, because you chose the "stronger" side.
Admittedly, sometimes that is exactly what it is. I don't feel male, and I certainly don't take it as a complement when someone calls me "sir", but there are times when knowing that people mistake me as male gives me a sense of safety. When I walk the streets at night, I don't get unwanted attention. I look them in the eye and I'm equal. But am I betraying my sisters when I'm trying to protect myself? Am I abandoning a cause when all I want to do is get home safe at night? It's not even a perfect scheme. I could be putting myself in even greater danger if I walk through worse neighbourhoods and I falter in my stride and give away my identity. Then I'd be one of those "fucking girls who want to be guys and take my place". It's not about running, or hiding, or not fighting. It's reality. The reality of being a woman means you can't walk the same street at night and feel safe as a man would, of having to live in constant fear for your own safety, your own body, and your dignity.
Butch is about embracing masculinity; it's about being able to say, hey, I can be masculine and respect the feminine at the same time, it's being both at once, and it's being able to stand up to sexual norms and say, I'm a girl but I can play football if I want, and I can kick your ass if you don't watch it, but I really would rather not have to do that. Being butch doesn't mean rejecting femininity, it isn't trying to undermine the feminist movement. Fearing the butch, to me, is admitting that femininity is inferior. A lot of us are butch in our own ways (just the same as we are femme). You can appear feminine and be butch, you can appear to be the butchest of the butch and be feminine inside, you can appear to be both and confuse the hell out of closed-minded people, and be both and just simply appear human.